Homer Simpson – un personaj fara prea mult “scaun la cap” … a ajuns sa inspire desgnerii de … scaune!

Mi-a atras atentia faptul ca un personaj de desen animat pentru adulti – Homer Simpson, pe care personal il consider cam tampitel … a ajuns sa inspire designeri de mobilier … Vazand asta, am cautat pe internet – gasind replici “funny” ale acestui personaj aparent inofesiv – daca nu ar fi majoritar 🙂 !

  • Operator! Give me the number for 911!
  • Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
  • Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
  • Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
  • I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.
  • Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
  • Well, it’s 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
  • Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘Sir’ without adding, ‘You’re making a scene.’
  • Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.
  • Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?
  • You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
  • Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
  • When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
  • Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  • I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
  • [Meeting Aliens] Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
  • What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
  • Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
  • Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  • The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it’s time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
  • When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.
  • I’m having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
  • Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn’t, it’s that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
  • I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?
  • Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.
  • It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
  • Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
  • I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
  • Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
  • Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman’s bottom? That’s right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.
  • Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
  • How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
  • Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
  • Homer no function beer well without.
  • I’ve always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is — and it’s me.
  • Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
  • If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can’t speak English.
  • I’m never going to be disabled. I’m sick of being so healthy.
  • I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
  • Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.
  • All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
  • Dad, you’ve done a lot of great things, but you’re a very old man, and old people are useless.
  • But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
  • I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.
  • Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here’s the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.
  • That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college!
  • Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
  • If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing
  • I’m in no condition to drive…wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!
  • ‘To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?

Primim cu placere o lectie de istorie printr-un spot publicitar?

Echipa Cosmote – in spotul “Veteranul”, ne descopera detalii uitate ale constiintei noastre. Iar faptul de a fi fost “atins” chiar inainte de meciul echipei noastre nationale de fotbal cu o Austrie multinationala a creat cadrul perfect al unei pregatiri sufletesti necesare …

Ca dovada ca se doreste a fi perfect, acest minut publicitar cu totul special – tine sa ne puna la incercare … vigilenta!

Referirea la “Razboiul din 1914” este desigur o exagerare – dar cati suntem aceia care stim ca NU AVEM PREA MULTE MONUMENTE ramase dupa cel de-al Doilea Razboi Mondial, iar acelea care sunt – au un puternic iz sovietic, “comunist si antifascist” (deci nu pot fi folosite in comunicare).

Propunerea de a lega generatia de maine cu cei care au infaptuit Marea Unire … e imposibil de tentanta si de aceea, o aplaudam cu admiratie!


La firma de comert exterior unde am lucrat pana in ianuarie 1990, era obiceiul ca baietii sa se bucure impreuna de doua ori pe luna: atunci cand se primea leafa (mai intai avansul si apoi lichidarea) …

Nu intarziam mult, si era o regula stricta a profesiei sa nu exageram cu “familiarizarea in acelasi loc”. Chestiune de imagine, sa nu para ca suntem ceea ce nu aveam voie sa fim 🙂 – dar poate mai era si optiunea “traseului select”: adica … selectam acele locuri care meritau “salutate”, fie si din mers, o data sau de doua ori pe luna!

Chiar daca nu ajungeam sa stam la masa, luam din mers, in treacat, “una mica” … la tejgheaua barului. Apoi plateam, salutam si plecam spre urmatorul popas. Totul – intr-un sfert de ora, cel mult.

………….

Deunazi am resimtit nostalgia tejghelei de dupa program – unde credeti? – intr-o farmacie! De vina poate ca a fost dialogul placut si relaxat pe care l-am purtat cu cei care de data aceasta imi ofereau cu darnicie si la alegerea mea, de toate pentru toti … pe marginea subiectului principal al zilei: raceala de-o saptamana, cea care ne tine cel putin sapte zile!

………….

Vezi tu, draga Cititorule, pun pariu ca in Germania – fara reteta de la un medic atestat de sistemul lor, nu aveam parte de-un atare tratament … ingaduitor, si implicit – as fi fost lipsit (sau scutit?) de comparatia dintre tejghelele mele de-atunci si cele de-acum :-)!

Tejgheaua de la farmacie: am venit cu lista si mi-am luat ce am dorit!


Zilele trecute ma intrebam de ce se circula atat de prost in Bucuresti.

In afara de ploaie, panourile in care Domnisoara Pistol ne recomanda sa vizitam magazinele Carrefour pentru a avea o viata mai buna, poate fi o explicatie.

O intreb in acest sens pe Doamna Cristina, aflata langa mine, pe scaunul din fata – sa vad, ea ce zice?

Imi raspunde cu o constatare seaca, schimband abil vorba: “Auzi, lasa tu formele de-o parte! Te-ai uitat la continut? Ai citit ce-au scris astia aici? … Slip SAU Sutien!!! Adica ce faci daca-ti iei numai sutienul? Il combini cu altceva?!”

In acest mod simplu, m-am dat de gol ca un slab decriptor al mesajelor publicitare… Uneori, pur si simplu nu apuc sa le citesc pana la sfarsit! 🙂

Gina Pistol si dilema alegerii intre sutien si slip!

 


Limba germana si cea engleza fac parte din aceeasi familie – e un lucru stiut de toata lumea. Au fiecare insa orgoliile lor, si rareori ajung sa fie unii eroi in patria celorlalti.

Un asemenea caz rar, este acela al cuplului Brecht/Weil. Un neamt catolic, cu vederi de stanga – Bertolt Brecht (pe care l-am studiat la Scoala cu “Mutter Courage” si “Viata lui Galilei”) si un alt neamt evreu, tot de stanga Kurt Weill – au scris (primul) si compus (al doilea) o opera cu sclipiri geniale – … pe care englezii au preluat-o si tradus-o si au facut-o celebra. Au popularizat-o pana au facut-o a lor!

Vorbesc despre pasajul “Mack The Knife” din “Dreigroschenoper”. “The Threepenny Opera”. Sau, pe romaneste … “Opera de trei parale”.

Interpretarile de mai jos – ale lui Luis Armstrong, Bobby Darin si Ella Fitzgerald sunt dincolo de cuvinte … dar ar putea intra in competitie, cu intrebarea: ce i-a atras atat de mult la aceasta piesa?